Emotional Rollercoaster

Tonight was a doozy!


I was @ work and I just didn't feel right... all of these thoughts of ADAM came flowing thru my mind. I couldn't believe his behavior earlier, but I think I made it even more then it seemed at the time. Idk. I had a chat with one of my cousins before I went into work today, and she basically told me that I need to leave ADAM alone for my sanity. I realized 2 things: One, that she is probably right. Once I leave (and everyone's been telling me this), he will realize what a mistake he's made and he will come after me. IE, he'll FINALLY tell me what the hell is REALLY going on. And two, there's no way I could ever leave.


I know it sounds like we're already in a relationship, with me talking about leaving, but if I dip out now, it'll be the end of our friendship forever. That's not a risk that I'm willing to take. Ever.


I was on the radio a few weeks ago, asking a DJ his thoughts about our situation. He told me that I needed to "sack up" and tell ADAM how I was feeling because anything after that would be me being fake. I totally agree. When I'm around ADAM, all I want to do is show him every inch and corner of my heart. That's impossible to do when being fake. And fake-ness isn't something I excel in. (lol.)


I'm sooooo glad I got to have a heart-to-heart with ADAM's cousin though. She definitely helped me make the transition from tears to tee-hee's. 


White Merlot+Good Friends+Great Chats=Good Nights


I'm glad that she gets exactly how I'm feeling. Now if I could only get him to do the same thing...